It’s so hard to believe that our little Prince Charming turned 6 weeks old this week. Just 6 weeks ago I was worrying nonstop about Asher getting jealous, resenting us, and not taking to his new sibling. And wondering how I could possibly love someone as much as I loved him. But all the anxiety, stress, excitement, and sleepless nights could have never prepared us for the love that we all share for this precious angel. Asher is obsessed with “Baby Holden” (in the cutest toddler voice you have ever heard), and we are just trying to keep him from cuddling him to death! While Holden’s birth story is pretty straightforward, when I think about how and when he was conceived, it reiterates how much of a miracle he is to us. So, let’s start from the beginning.
OUR BIRTH STORY: HOW IT ALL STARTED
Throughout most of 2017, Ryan was traveling back and forth from LA, as well as visiting every city between here and the west coast for a huge trial he was leading. You can read about the Hilario Cruz, et al. v. Nissan North America case here. Simultaneously, I was jet-setting around the Southeast and all across the Northeast most weeks of the year. I would be flying in as Ryan was flying out, hoping and praying I wouldn’t be delayed, so Asher wouldn’t be stranded at school. There definitely were a few times when friends and family had to bail us out last minute. It was a doozy of 7 months, let me tell you.
Towards the end of May, Ryan basically moved to LA. He and his law partners rented a condo downtown to live in during the trial. “How long will you be gone, babe?” He informed me he could POSSIBLY be gone until September. Let me repeat that: SEPTEMBER. How in the world would I take care of a toddler, with my travel schedule, all by myself?! I know single moms do this every single day (seriously, ALL the respect and admiration for you, by the way), but Ryan has been SUCH a huge part of Asher’s life and the rock of our family. He cooks dinner for us, cleans the house for us, takes Asher to and from school everyday…it was going to be a big adjustment for Asher and me.
First thing first…”when can you come home next?” We decided that Ryan would travel home for the 4th of July weekend, since the courthouse would be closed that Monday. He left at the butt crack of dawn on Saturday, so he could spend a full weekend with us. Sparing you the details, I was, ahem, so happy to see him! The 3 of us had THE BEST weekend together and all cried as we had to say our goodbyes. Well, fast forward a couple weeks…
OUR BIRTH STORY: SURPRISE!
It was the Saturday before my 29th birthday AGAIN…can you believe I have turned 29 eight times now?! Something was not right. I was EXHAUSTED, nauseous, and bloated. I probably wasn’t eating as healthy as I normally do with Ryan out of town, but Asher and I were in survival mode, cooking or picking up whatever was easy. Then it dawned on me. What? NO WAY. That would be literally impossible. How could I be pregnant after seeing Ryan once in over a month? The odds of that happening were slim to none. Asher and I spent the day and night with one of my best friends, Lauren and her son. I HAD to spill the beans. Could I be? Is that possible? I mean, how does that happen?
The next day, I took a test, and as clear as day, I was PREGNANT. Holy moly, I was not expecting that. Now, I am not one to be able to keep a surprise. There was NO WAY IN HELL I was waiting on Ryan to get home from LA. So, I acted fast. I ran to Target to find a “Big Brother” t-shirt, picked up some letter balloons, and made sure I saved the pregnancy test. That afternoon, I put the t-shirt on Asher, hung the balloons, and coached Asher on how to say “big brother.” After several attempts, he nailed it. And we were ready to make the call.
As we Facetimed “Dada,” I asked Asher to tell Ryan what his shirt said. As he was holding the pregnancy test in his tiny hands, he of course got shy and just turned his head away. Thanks for nothing, kid. Ryan cluelessly asked, “what is in his hand?” And then it hit him. “OH SHIT!” he said. Funny, he had the same reaction the first time. And look at him now! He is not only THE BEST Dad to Asher but also his best friend and hero.
OUR BIRTH STORY: IT’S OFFICIAL!
We went to the doctor when Ryan returned from LA and learned Baby Lutz was due March 24th. We knew we weren’t going to find out the sex and spent the next 9 months preparing Asher to be a big brother to “Arlo,” as he called “his new baby.” In August, we made the news official with this adorable pregnancy announcement. Soon after, Baby Lutz traveled to Oregon wine country (wine country…8 weeks pregnant…coffee and ALL the desserts FTW!), New York Fashion Week, all around the Southeast, and on up to the Northeast. I had to have a c-section with Asher (you can read Asher’s story here), so I assumed I would have one again. My doctor agreed to a VBAC, as long as the baby came early, on his or her own. Otherwise, Baby Lutz was entering the world on March 19th.
My pregnancy over the next several months would go by smoothly. I worked out at Irontribe up until the Wednesday before I delivered, even beating Ryan a time or two in those final weeks. I traveled up until 36 weeks and honestly, felt REALLY well until almost the very end. I did have a a blood pressure scare or two, including the Thursday before he was born. And by scare, I mean my blood pressure SKYROCKETED. After what happened with Asher, we checked into the hospital, fully expecting to meet our nameless child on March 14th but were luckily sent home a couple of hours later. Of course, the nursery wasn’t done (or even started for that matter), our child didn’t have a name, and we were still waiting on the carseat to arrive. #secondchildproblems yall.
OUR BIRTH STORY: OH BROTHER!
The following weekend went by fairly uneventful. We all cuddled nonstop, hung out with Asher, and soaked in our last days together as a family of 3 (with some tears of course). On Monday, we hopped in the car around 4:45 am (ok maybe it was closer to 5), excited to meet our babe. Of course, we were running late, and I was putting my makeup on in the car per usual. We were calm, excited, and ready. As we wheeled back to the OR, we still didn’t have a name. Ryan preferred Holden, and I was really undecided. I loved Arlo, but it did seem more fitting for a baby than an adult. Oh, and Zoe Grace was our girl name, but I don’t think either one of us expected a girl. And damnit that sure is a cute name. Maybe we would go for it if I could guarantee a Zoe, but as of now, not so much.
Shortly after, we heard the first cry. I immediately glanced down to see if it was a girl or a boy and looked at Ryan and said: “that’s Holden!” The nurses were conversing in the background about how much he looked like a Holden too! So, it was meant to be. Our beautiful blonde hair, blue eyed “Holden Grey Lutz” entered the world on March 19th at 7:10am, weighing 6 pounds 14 ounces, measuring 20 inches tall. He’s Asher’s best friend, our handsome prince, and my little cuddlebug!
OUR BIRTH STORY: MID-CENTURY MODERN NURSERY SNEAK PEEK
While the nursery is not quite done, I do want to show you some of my FAVORITE pieces. Shocker, I waited until the last minute AGAIN (see Asher’s Abode here), but it is weird how it all comes together for me at the last minute. As we got closer to the due date, I was envisioning dark, walnut wood, tons of grey, and a more mid century modern feel, as opposed to Asher’s Scandinavian, black and white nursery theme. Once Holden was born, I added in turquoise, mustard yellow, and terrazzo (SO IN RIGHT NOW) details. Holden’s Ubabub acrylic and walnut crib would become the focal point of the nursery. We found the most beautiful grey and walnut rocker with chrome accents from Monte Design. And alas, I found my dream dresserand bookshelf combo from Oeuf. SWOON at the mid-century feel to these pieces, which fit perfectly in his space. I knew I wanted to mix woods, so we kept our Kalon daybed and added in other maple accents. I CANNOT WAIT to show you the final reveal, but enjoy these pictures for now!
OUR BIRTH STORY: SHOP THE POST
JACKSON ROCKER // UBABUB NIFTY CLEAR CRIB // OEUF RHEA DRESSER // OEUF MINI LIBRARY // ORGANIC CRIB MATTRESS (seriously THE BEST mattress) // ORGANIC JERSEY CRIB SHEET (so soft and the perfect grey color) // MONTE NINNA NANNABASSINET // SILVER MARTINI SIDE TABLE