It’s my BIRTHDAY, and I’ll smile if I want to, SMILE if I want to! Wow, I can’t believe another year has come and gone. They weren’t lying when they said the days are long, but the years are short. SO DAMN SHORT.
As I embark on the 9th anniversary of my 29th birthday, I can’t help but think about my life and the legacy I want to leave one day. Call it a mid-life crisis or whatever you want, but I have been reflecting A LOT. What impact am I leaving on this world? Am I being a good example for my kids? Am I following my dreams or am I being complacent? Am I inspiring people with love and happiness or am I bringing people down with negativity and sadness?
I am not going to lie when I say the past 16 months have been very difficult for me, both emotionally and mentally. Physically, I don’t feel a day over 25. Mentally, some days I wonder if I can make it til lunch ha. Welcoming Holden (16 months ago) was one of the greatest joys of my life. He came out bursting at the seams with happiness, always smiling, always getting into something. On the flip side, when he is mad, HE. IS. MAD. I have never seen anything like it, but goodness that boy has stolen my heart. We have such a deep connection that I simply can’t describe. BUT with all of this amazingness has come a lot of emptiness and struggle.
With Asher, I struggled with post partum depression, and it hit me even harder this time around. A lot of days, I have to make the conscious effort to be happy, even when I have everything in my life I could have possibly ever dreamed of. Blame it on the hormones. But yall, let me tell you, there is so much power in adversity. If our lives stay the same, we don’t get the opportunity to grow or to learn or to push ourselves. We don’t get the opportunity to share our story and help someone else with the same struggles. Some days you gotta just put your big girl panties on, and face the shit head on. The growth that you will experience by taking a step forward during times of fear and uncertainty will truly shape who you are as a person. You will grow and get better, and you will love stronger and share deeper.
Well, this post was simply supposed to be your questions and answers from Instagram. DAMN HORMONES. But seriously, I love how birthdays offer us a time to reflect and a time to give thanks. I am so thankful for my beautiful family, my amazing friends, and the so many wonderful opportunities in my life. I am so THANKFUL that you guys have stuck with me through inconsistent times, where the hell has Lindsey been times, and of course, during the fun and silly times. Thank YOU for making my dream come true. With that being said…let’s get to the Q&A, shall we? PS, SOOOO many amazing, thoughtful questions. Maybe I will do a LIVE to answer the rest.
1. What shaped you to become so kind and hard working?
First of all, THANK YOU SO MUCH! This is definitely part of the legacy I want to leave one day. First and foremost, I strive to be a kind person, to find the good in people. People won’t always remember what you said or what you did, but they will ALWAYS remember how you made them feel. Growing up, (and even sometimes now), I didn’t have a lot of confidence. I wasn’t the most attractive kid in the world…glasses, bangs, lanky, ya know that #awk middle school stage. I hung out with the cool kids but wasn’t necessarily the cool kid, if that makes sense. I was bullied in high school. These guys would call me monkey girl CONSTANTLY. It was so embarrassing. I never understood why they treated me this way, Yes, I was awkwardly tall and skinny…but so were they. I never understood what made one person popular and one person a nerd. I honestly loved hanging out with different groups of people and sharing my time with everyone. I am a people pleaser to a fault. This is something I am working on, but I do genuinely want to be kind to people. Just imagine how amazing this world would be if we cheered each other on, instead of putting each other down?
In terms of being hardworking, I think a few things resonated with me a long time ago. 1) No one is going to give us anything. No one owes us anything. And we are not entitled to anything. If we want something, it is up to us to go after it. Put your big girl panties on, and make it happen. 2) This is such a cliche, but there are always going to be people more talented than us…that’s just life. BUT, my thought is, I don’t want anyone to outwork me. The harder I work, the more luck I create. 3) Everything is figure-out-able. Don’t know how to do something? YouTube it. Need a quick answer? Google it. I have a lot of thoughts on what shaped this mentality, but that’s a longer post for another day. Ha.
2. How do you juggle it all? Marriage, kids, fitness, your business?! You’re superwoman.
First of all, thank you. But second of all, let’s toss that superwoman adjective out the window. I definitely struggle with juggling it all, just ask my husband! ha Seriously though, I don’t make enough time for my marriage or for cleaning the house, cooking dinner, cleaning up my shit, etc. I struggle with these tasks so much, and my marriage struggles because of it. My husband has to pick up my slack daily. And he’s an extremely busy attorney. It’s just absolute chaos at our house at all times. It’s never clean, and my stuff literally is everywhere. BUT we do have a lot of fun!
With my kids, I only see them a few hours a day, which SUCKS. BUT they love their school and get so much attention from teachers, grandparents, dada and mama, friends, etc. Some days I regret sending them to daycare, but other days I feel fortunate for them to be able to learn things that I know I could never teach them. I’ll be honest, my work/life balance shifts way more towards work than life. But I want to make a conscious effort to change that.
For those of you that don’t know, I am a regional sales manager for a medical device company within Johnson and Johnson. What the hell does that mean? Well, I have the honor of motivating and inspiring a group of 13 amazing sales consultants across 7 states. UM DO WHAT? YES, I know. SO different than the creative world I live in with blogging. BUT this amazing sales team led us to REGION OF THE YEAR IN 2018. AND we are trying to go back to back and win the title again in 2019. I have worked for JNJ for 12 years. It’s extremely challenging, yet one of the most rewarding jobs I have held in my life. It has truly helped shape who I am today.
In terms of juggling it all, the truth is, we make time for things that are important to us. Working out is something I make time for at least 4 times a week. I literally schedule in my calendar and don’t miss it, because I know I am a better wife, mom, woman, coworker, etc. SOOOO many of you ask how a busy mom can fit in a workout, which leads to my next question…
3. What’s your fav workout, especially when you are short on time? How long have you been working out? And how can a busy mama of 9 fit it in each day?
First of all, and perhaps THE most important thing, FIND A WORKOUT THAT YOU LOVE TO DO!! For some people, it’s going for a run, for other people, it’s Barre. For me, I like to mix it up. I LOVELOVELOVE Iron Tribe, Battle Republic, HomeFit, and OrangeTheory when I travel. However, if you don’t have a lot of time, just do SOMETHING. Make yourself sweat for 20 minutes. There are TONS of workouts you can google, such as quick in home workout. I actually posted one on the blog here. OR quick HIIT workout. If you are shy and don’t want to go to the gym, but need help, look into something like HomeFit. They are AMAZING and will come to your home. The workout is challenging but allows you to go at your own pace, even with kiddos running around.
I don’t know if I can pick a fav, because there is just something about me lifting heavy weights and attempting to beat the hubs at Iron Tribe. However, I also love the girl power, knock someone out, calorie burn at Battle Republic. Again, for me, I gotta mix it up or else I will get bored. You will rarely find me running 3 miles on a random Sunday. But you WILL find me hitting up a quick HIIT workout in a hotel gym.
I have always been into sports. I was a gymnast and a competitive cheerleader. And I even ran track in high school. In college I worked out a little, meaning I went to the gym and socialized. After college, I loved doing classes like Body Pump and Body Jam at Gold’s gym. My friend Lauren got me into those, and she now owns like all the Orange Theories in the state #girlboss. She also introduced me to Iron Tribe. I think it sort of blended my love for sports (I am a HUGE football fan by the way) with exercise. I found I could do something I loved, while also getting my fitness on. The results were amazing too. I actually did Iron Tribe until the day I delivered both boys, because you can totally go at your own pace.
4. Best #bossbabe advice to advance your career.
This is very simple for me to articulate, and it’s EXACTLY what I look for when I hire someone. Coco Chanel said it best: “In order to be irreplaceable, one must always be different.”
- Find that deep, fire in your belly mentality and run with it. You HAVE to be passionate about what you do or else you will never move forward. And when you find that passion, SHARE IT. Make sure everyone feels it when you walk into the room. Obviously, don’t fake it, but genuinely let your fire show.
- WORK YOUR ASS OFF. Guys, I cannot stress this enough. People wil always be more talented than you, but NEVER let someone outwork you. Be the first one in the office and the last one to leave, This is one of the hardest things for people to do, but it will guarantee you success.
- Do something that NO ONE else is willing to do. Let me make this clear for you. You MUST differentiate yourself, think outside the box, and do things no one else is willing to do. Interviewing for a job? Don’t just show up. Show up with a business plan and a Powerpoint to show them why you are a great fit for the job. YOU are your only advocate. NO ONE owes you anything; no one “deserves” an interview. MAKE THEM SAY NO.
- Ladies, this one is for you. Quit the people pleasing, “I’ll handle it for you” mentality. It’s 2019, you don’t need to be the notetaker in a meeting with all men. You don’t need to agree to “handle it” for your male coworker. Focus on you and being a LEADER for your team.
- Be a LEADER. Being a leader doesn’t necessarily mean being a manager or the boss. Being a leader means doing all the things I described above. Being a leader means putting a smile on your face during tough times and coaching people through it. Being a leader means leading through change and looking at the big picture. Being a leader is looking at yourself and your strategy and being able to make a change if necessary. With that being said…
- Get comfortable with feeling uncomfortable. This is the ONLY way to grow and change for the better. Go after that job you aren’t qualified for. Walk in the door and call on that doctor that scares the hell out of you. Ask for that raise that you know you deserve.
5. What birthday was your fav and what was your fav gift?
I got this question a lot, and I love it!! Birthdays are BIG for me. But, it’s so hard to pick a favorite birthday. I LOVED my 30th surprise party, but I also loved last year just hanging with the fam, cuddling on the couch, and eating my favorite dinner. I think taking a trip is always such a memorable way to celebrate. For my 40th (in 11 years of course wink wink), we are going to St. Barths, and I cannot WAIT. It’s my favorite place in the world! A little advice…I don’t think it matters what you do, as long as you are with the people you love, indulging in your favorite things. Also, if you are a planner, PLAN SOMETHING. Don’t wait on someone else to plan it. Take your birthday into your own hands if you want to do something extra special.
My favorite gift. Gosh, this is SO HARD. I think the surprise party when I turned 30 was such a special gift from Ryan and my friends. They know how much I love to throw a party, so it was amazing to have someone throw a party for me. Ryan has gotten me some amazing luxury items that I would never pick out for myself: my first pair of Louboutins, my first Chanel bag, and my first Gucci bag. Those were so special, because he picked them out on his own. Honestly, to me, any gift that is THOUGHTFUL is a good one. Something that someone researches, picks out on their own, without my help. I think this is what birthdays are ALL about. I hate the “what do you want for your bday?” Then I send a link and they buy it. Obviously I appreciate ANY gift, but I personally love to research and find the perfect gift for someone.
6. Did you always want kids, were you ever worried about becoming a boy mom, and what’s your favorite thing to do with Holden and Asher?
Soooo, I was never one of those people that LIVED for having kids. I knew kids would be amazing, but I kind of had the mentality of “if I have kids, great…if not, that’s great too.” BUT I think in the back of my mind, I always knew I would be a boy mom. While I love fashion and all things girly, I am also somewhat of a tomboy at heart. I LOVE watching football and throwing a baseball. I LOVE sweating with the guys at the gym and trying to run circles around my husband ha. Growing up, my summers were spent playing home run derby and flag football with my little brother and his friends. I have such an amazing bond with my boys, it would honestly scare me more to be a girl mom. It would also probably scare my husband to death with out bank account. And let’s be honest, I LOVELOVELOVE being the only girl in our house. #princessmentality
I have soooo many favorite things to do with the boys. We LOVE going out to eat with them on Fridays, although Holden is making that difficult these days. With Asher, we love playing soccer in the backyard and throwing the football. We also love making our “Twin Playlist,” cuddling nonstop (Holden and Ryan are not cuddlers), dancing, being silly, chasing each other around the house a thousand times, making “tines” aka routines, swimming, traveling, etc. With Holden, he is WILD. So it’s anything that involves being outside, getting into stuff, and chasing him around everywhere.
7. Why you the coolest mama?
I LOVE YOU JAIME CITTADINO!! PS, everyone check out her blog.
8. What is your favorite state to vacation?
I LOOOOOVE 30A in North FL, Napa Valley/Sonoma in California, and MANHATTAN in New York!
9. What’s your fav online store for shoes and your fav pair of shoes ever?
My absolute FAV pair of shoes ever are my nude, spiky Louboutin heels. They hurt my feet like no other, but I would wear them every single day of my life if I could! I also love my glitter Golden Goose high tops and my new Fendi slides.
Online store for shoes…I LOVE the selection and price points at Shopbop, the fashion-forward options at Net-a-Porter or FWRD, the selection of Golden Goose at FarFetch, and the “shoes no one else owns” from Moda Operandi.
10. Will you pleaaaaaase do a makeup tutorial? And what are your favorite brands?
Here are some of my favs:
11. How would YOU describe your style?
Thank you SO MUCH for all the wonderful questions you guys submitted! I am thinking maybe I will do an Instagram Live to go through the rest. In the meantime, make sure you check out 35 Things About Me! Love you, mean it.